Catharsis

for Dave

Feeling your absence acutely this morning
silent unnoticed tears in yoga class
allowing myself to embrace this grief

Perhaps you did not take my invitation seriously
You like to keep the possibility of a visit
 always in the back of your mind

It is something you can push against
feeling strong in your ability to resist
following your compass; a path
previously laid

While I torture myself
with self inflicted dissapointment
having let myself wander into sweet anticipation
letting go of the strong voice of reason

These are old patterns and
I have tried to change them
from my side
to bravely hold to my independent life
to be strong and sensible

But my life flows forth from the heart
and the heart is a deeply tender
yet demanding place

Radha