The Last Poem OHOH ( Sept 2011)

Life interferes with good intention

But perhaps this poem is late in coming

as I deemed to write of endings and sorrowful partings

Yet the closing of our time together, though poinant

marks the beginning of new times

Already some of us meet to continue the cycle;

to dance and dare and play with creation

Memories still vivid are with us

They identify us with each other as sisters

What a grand job we did with focus and care

How with confidence we invited others in,

proudly standing together

How the energy flew and the hearts lifted up with joy

Oh yes, we did our teachers proud

Not without our mentors love and care

gently guiding us in good directions

zeroing in on what was needed where

Holding her faith in us

Music too, as if from heaven,

through faithful servants supported us

Once specific memories fade, some will remain

ingrained in our very beings, infusing our lifes blood

those grounded in sisterhood

connection to each other and spirit

in knowing from that deep place

in being in that place together

Radha

Home Day

A home day today after a week of too many people and places and schedules to keep

A day to slow down and take stock
to sit longer with morning coffee, prayer beads then books in hand
to jot down ideas on " to do " lists
to feel joy watching nuthatches and chicadees
swoop down from cedars to feeder,
their little bodies so close behind the window glass

A day to tie up loose ends
to fold laundry thats been waiting to be seen again
to fill the bird feeder and return messages
to hopefully check up on those yoga classes
finally acknowledging body as temple
leaving behind a long ingrained tendency to self neglect

A day to get down to the nitty gritty
to wash the oven mitts with the rags and towels
to give the cats new litter and tend the male tabby's wounds
to refill the honey jar
watching the honey peel off the metal ladle
a translucent golden stream of blessing

A day to be a homebody
to water plants and sweep the floor
to chop up pineapple for eatting, while you juice oranges, pineapples and melon
to watch with intrigue as you save the pulp to use in bisquits
fresh and buttered they will satisfy more than a physical appetite
evoking a sense of connection to our food source

Certainly not all gets done
One day spills over into the next; an endless cycle
Yet some gain has been made
in having peace of mind, catching our breath

Radha

A Day Such as This

Occasionally we can delight in a day such as this; slowly awakening to no plans, the clock, man made keeper of time having no influence over us. Able to relax and ponder life over coffee. Perhaps we would tend to household details previously left undone.
Breakfast at noon; eggs and toast and fruit. You having deferred when first offered food, prefering instead the taste of my lips. Carrying me, housecoat clad, back to the softness of the bed, lost in each others embrace.
Later we will sit at the coffee shop a short drive away and walk by the river at dusk; hoping for pinkness to settle into the clouds. Content to hold hands in silence, we walk while the dog races ahead and back; happy to be out on the snow, eyes ever attentive to us.

Setting the Tone for 2012

For me there has always been an underlying concept that what you do on New Years day sets the tone for the rest of the year. I am sure I have implemented this idea in all kinds of ways over the years. So I thought for example, if I restarted a yoga practice today, this might become a habit that I could keep throughout the next year. However this is not at all what transpired. We had stayed up late at our own little campfire, following a most joyous global peace celebration with our dance community (Dances of Universal Peace). So, my sweetie and I found ourselves just lying in bed til late; all snuggled up with no schedule to keep. Fighting the impulse to get up several times, I found myself thinking “why not allow ourselves the blessing of a couple of lazy hours after having spent over 9 months apart last year.” In fact some of my favorite new Years day memories are of special breakfasts with friends, hanging about drinking champagne and orange juice. That too was another event for today. Dave and I had a late pancake breakfast accompanied by just that, having opened a bottle of champagne by the fire last night to note the arrival of 2012. Later in the day, while snowshoeing along the river, another thought came. Perhaps this does set the tone for 2012 and more leisure time, more time just to “be” is what I truly desire.

2012 may even bring me just that with the major transition of retirement, which will soon be upon me. Maybe that is what I should tell people who ask what I am “going to do” once retired ( I never understand the traditional questions people ask) Relax and just be I should say. Presently, I laugh at this question and tell them that at this point work is interfering with my life. I am in fact going to focus on NOT taking on a lot of new things. It could be a trap to make ones life as busy as when working, by grasping onto a whole lot of changes. The changes for me will be more subtle. My work schedule never allowed me to fully attend events that happened on a weekly basis for instance. Not being able to get to them all, I tended not to sign up. I think I will join that writers group I have never got to and probably a choir. It will be a new experience to never have to miss an event because I am working. I may do some “on call” work but that allows me the final say. I am courting the possibility of establishing healthy routines such as regular walking, reading and yoga. Sound boring ? I don't think I have ever been bored. That might even be an interesting new experience, though my mind strays to all the tidying up and organizing that this house could stand after close to 8 years of being here. And ofcourse spring will bring forward all the garden and yard projects and what a joy it will be to have more uninterrrupted time for my passion / my property.

I have been asked about travel plans and I must say nothing extravagant occurs to me. I have discovered myself to be most often a homebody, though there are a few retreats I attend yearly (and more I could consider) I am comfortable driving places in my van and also sleeping in it, and there is this valley in Montana that I have heard is so beautiful. I have friends there and in a couple of places further into Montana, so you never know. Road trips are certainly not out of the equation. There is ofcourse “the ranch” Over all our years of being together, I have never stayed at Dave's place for more than probably 4 days, and always this was followed by a long days drive home and a 7 am start at work the next day. (except for that one Christmas I flew up) Depending on his work situation I may get my chance for a longer stay and less rushed travelling. Here enters the more leisure time theme again.

So the date is chosen. This month I am slated to send in my letter of resignation and my pension application. I am excited and a little scared. After nursing for the greater part of 39 years (minus a few adventures and 2 maternity leaves) I will no longer own a job. This last job started 27 plus years ago.It has been a huge part of my life. I am also totally aware of how privledged I am, although I think fortunate is a better word. What I have in a good pension and a severance package would be unheard of for many of my friends especially those in the United States. There is a tendency to feel guilty about this situation, but I try not to look at it that way. What I feel is so much gratitude. I also know I have worked hard to reach this moment and made sacrifices to get here. So many times I wanted to quit and have more time with my children when they were young and not be tied into constantly switching between 12 hour day and night shifts. But I persevered and somehow we all adjusted, though there definitely were losses. Now it is time to rest and to enjoy the benefits gained by those many years of work. Perhaps there will be more mornings of late rising, more time for contemplation. I would like that.

Radha